How does a parent say good bye to a child? How can a parent bury a child, when it should be that child who buries the parent?
Where do I put all the hopes and aspirations for the future for you Matthew? I had wanted and hoped to take you and your cheh-cheh to Disneyland, knowing that you would have enjoyed Mickey Mouse so much, and Winnie the Pooh and Tigger. Tigger has always been your favourite, because he is so full of energy and life. Just like you. You are like a blast, always up and about, always full of life and energy, never-ending laughters. Oh how I miss that. Even now, the home feels so empty without you. I have let you go. I know that you are in heaven with Jesus, who is probably running after you just as I have done so on earth.
I have this image in my head, that Jesus is holding your hand. You are both walking to heaven, and His back is facing us, but I know that it is Jesus. And your little hand in His hand, and you are walking with him, away from us to heaven. But you turned your head, smiling your ever-oh-so-cheeky smile of yours, saying ‘Bye Dah-Dee’..because you could not yet say Mommy. But I know that’s bye bye mommy and bye bye cheh cheh as well. We will all miss you Jien. Daddy named you Matthew, Mommy choose Ethan for your second name and Heng Jien as your Chinese name. Such beautiful names for such an astonishingly beautiful child.
My darling baby boy - have fun in heaven, have a good time with all the other kids and with the angels. It is a good place, so so much better than here on earth. We hope and want to join you some day, but life on earth goes on for us. Mommy and Daddy have to take care of your cheh-cheh. She misses you so much. She loves you so much, you know that. Even when you bully her and she cries, and Mommy comes shouting ‘Heng Jien’ what did you do to cheh-cheh?” , she would be so quick to say ‘no mommy, it was just an accident. Heng Jien didn’t do anything.’ I don’t know how tomorrow will be for us, or next week, or next year. We will NEVER forget you. How could we even do that? We have loved you from the moment that we knew you were in mommy’s womb. Cheh-cheh had read to you and kissed you even before you were born. You will not hurt in heaven, and continue on with your squeals of laughter which we now miss so much. We love you *blow a kiss*
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21 comments:
Be strong, it's a long and painful journey ahead, and if you ever need a hand to help you along the way, I am there for you. You are not alone, reach out and take the comfort you so very need.
Even i dont know you, but as a mother i know we have the same feelings and as a mother too, my heart goes to you. What i can say here is, you be strong. Cheers.
No words...just tears.
*HUGS*
Darling, you are a strong person. I'm sure Jien missed you, but Yen yen and Marcel need you. It's tough but remember your friends are here for you. Call, cry if you need, I'm here to listen, ok?
Reading your blog just brought tears down my cheeks. What can one say to comfort another at such a tragic time but to remember the hymn "Precious memories, how they linger, how they ... to my soul etc. One scripture says, "O death where is they sting, O grave where is thy victory" Sorry, I have difficulty in this sadness to remember comforting lines. All three of you are in our prayers for comfort and peace in the only one person who can do that, surrender your pain to Him and peace will come to all of you- Victor Dorairaj email victorin hawaii@yahoo.com
Came over from Kin's site.
Take good care my dear. It is good to know that he is a great place now with the greatest person alive!
And God will carry you through this season....that there may be only one set of footprints in the sand...
God bless you and your family.
be strong as your child is safe with the Lord.
((HUGZ))
I am a friend of Moomykin.
I have no words to comfort you but just tears to cry with you. He is safe now with the Lord in heaven.
God bless
THE MATTHEW BUTTERFLY
A butterfly flew in today
As bright as a ray of sunshine on a clouded day
As welcome as a rainbow after a storm
A gentle comfort to a heart forlorn.
A new mother’s heart is filled with bitter tears
For the loss of a young life and so many unlived years
But where once Matthew bounced as an impish tyke
A little yellow butterfly now gently alights.
Nimble little creature, fragile little life
Yet so free and innocent of strife
A spritely spirit come to say farewell
On his way to heaven to dwell.
For Matthew Ethan Lariche
Tuesday 4 November 2008
Take your time to grieve as time heals everything. This too will pass and those wonderful memories with Matthew will remain steadfast. We will overcome this together. Hugs & Love.
I too came over from Moomykin's blog.
My heart ached when I read the first news about this. Talked about it with wife; we both also agreed that no words can express how we as parents feel.
I respect and salute that you have the courage to even blog about this now; I for one may actually just wallow for weeks... But as others have pointed out, there are others who need you and who also need your strength, and I am sure they are glad that you have this courage...
Our thoughts are with you..
As a mother myself, I know that no matter how much your heart aches you WILL be strong for Mathew's cheh cheh. I can see your strength from this very post itself. Stay strong but allow yourself to grief too and take care of yourself. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family. Hugs.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Pls stay strong for your daughter and hub, even tho it is soo hard.
Take care
I have no words to say either. Just know that you and your family are in my prayers.
May the Lord bless and keep you.
Minni
Surrender your pain and grief to Jesus. He will guide you and family through this. Truly.
You have my deepest condolences...
As a child I always wondered why my mother cried every time she heard about children dying. Now that I am a mother, I find myself crying every time I hear about children dying.
There is an invisable cord that binds us as parents - when one parent grieves, the rest of us grieves.
Although I know there is nothing I can say to ease the pain, all I can do is encourage you to be strong because your daughter and your husband need you now - probably more than they ever have.
Take care.
I am so sorry to learn about your loss. Though I may not know you and it is my first time here at your blog, as a mum my heart cries with you. May the Lord give you the strength and comfort you need to continue the journey.
Take care.
i came from ann's blog...and my deepest condolences to you and your family...
we may not know each other but as mothers, i do understand other mothers' as well...
god bless.
Michelle, you are an amazing woman. Yes, it's tremendously ok not to be ok, in fact it would be strange if you were ok given the current circumstances. God never gives us more than we can handle, and hearing from you shows how true that is. You are blessed with friends who are there for you now, and a hubby and daughter who worry for you. Take count of your blessings and once again, remember - Matthew is smiling and laughing with Jesus now, he does not want to see his Mummy cry - things will only get better and do not worry that you will cease to remember with the passing of time - how can a mother forget her child? It will never happen. Be strong for yourself and again, I think you are an amazing woman and mother. God bless.
Dear Marcel & Michelle,
May God's angels be Matthew's playmates in Heaven, may he be among the blessed and may he be looking over you and his cheh-cheh always.
Jesus especially loves children and little Matt will be one of his special babes.
Love and take care
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you must feel.
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